Monday, September 12, 2005
ok... lets talk about the rest of today...
im dam pissed now... coz everything seems to be very unfair...
well.. hmmm ill just start...
i woke up and guess wat... java was postponed to later on... and so i met up with riyan and sailesh at the prata house...
went there and i ate a fried chicken... well.. was too dam full to finish it... so sailesh and riyan helped to finish it up for me... its good man its good...
so yea.. went back to my hse... and then erm.... ya... sailesh left earlier... and me and riyan was left... so erm...
ya... nvm... heck... i seriously have nothing to do or say... abt all these goddamn unfairness... just maybe 1 or 2 things...
u seee..... i was playing my com... then my mother called in again... and she threatened to suicide... well.. if she wants to do so... shes gonna go to hell... thats not the way to end one's life... well...
she said something that actually bugged me ytd... "Jerry.. you are being controlled by the devil" she said this in a harsh voice... however it seems that it is her thats being controlled by the devil... "slow to become angry" --> shes definately not obeying the command... ytd i already forgave her 4 times... and wat... its still not enuf... yea yea.. its 7 times.. ill still forgive... but its never gonna leave my mind i guess..
so maybe her abt suiciding is abt satan... FUCK U SATAN!!! get lost... i thought... there r lots of things that contradict what she is saying... accusing CHC of teaching wrong things... then y does she even tune in to them in the first place... or why is it growing and other churches not as fast...
its really bothering that my dad were to come and reprimand me a bit too...
arguing with him... when he doesnt really noe much abt the situation or the understanding of the situation means == im gonna lose...
so i heck cared and went to bed...
so wat shld i do now?
think abt my life.. its really too easy.. and im getting a bit too complacent... well... maybe... i shld start on mathematics first? or shld i start on multimedia computer? hmmm... i guess... im not sure... but when im bathing later ill be sure to tap into my thinking cap to get the answer...
it sure is dam boring at home.. and i think ill ask sailesh and riyan to go to the library tmr to study or something (brb-s at this point) ok... sailesh is away...so lets continue..
i really wanted to create this new melody that has been prophesied over us... so well.. i guess.. i cant do it much.. coz im not spending enuf time with God... or even reading the bible... shits... pray... i did pray... but i stopped halfway and forgot to continue...
bible study... i miss it man... it just seems so useful to me... and i really need it... if i could... i would want something like bible study every hour of my life... except when im asleep that is... and then ill be rejuvinated... wow... it really is good... thats when my mind will be renewed - but only for a while it seems... it would just be there with God... i guess thats really God's presence thats working in me...
so what shld i do now? maybe i shld pray every morning and ask God's presence to be with me each day and for the whole day... so that i wont be goin around doin wrong stuff or bad stuff...
trying to cut down my vulgarities.. trying to change my character... it all seems so hard and so long... well... its been goin on really well.. at least i can see some improvment...
hmm wait -pause- have i blogged for friday yet? *ponders* ok i havent... well.. it was the DMD exam and i think... everyone is gonna do very badly... except for that frigging mugger in E6 that is a DUH mugger... so he might still do well... hmmm... i
wed - java programming 430-630 pm
thurs - mathematics dunno 1230-230 pm
monday - multimedia computer 430-630 pm
well.. i crapped the paper up... 45 mins and i was done crapping... slept for 20 mins... and we rushed out... buay tahan ar...
okok... lets continue... sry ar... its all comin out of my mind like a bomb... well... nows my dad... hes like... so not thinking well... think my parents expect too much of me... and yet don believe that i can actually produce those results... i asked my mother to shut up and stop pestering me if i got a2 for physics and i actually did... but still - she didnt shut up...
so wats the actual point of proving it to them... why am i actually studying so hard... when they fail to do so...
ah ha...!!! nxt time ill study at the right time... only in front of them... and behind their backs... ill play com...
formulated plot ay muahahaha... lol!
okok... ermmm... dunno wat to say now... but ya..i guess ill go and bathe and study... then tmr ill be at the library studying man... goddamit... home is my deathbed man... im gonna so play shit games...
well.. and then im gone.. cya peeps... ill heck care... too much to write...
- I contemplated at 10:30 pm
