Monday, October 03, 2005
ahhhhhhh...
im so sad now...
really wish...
i have someone to hug now...
my dad's right eye...
has some problems...
it seems..
his rectina...
is detached...
i dunno wat that means...
but i just noe..
that its really bad...
tinking back...
abt wat he has done for me...
i feel depressed...
that i have done little...
or not matching up...
to wat he has done for me...
only now...
that i feel that...
he might be goin soon...
that i feel that...
i still need him...
i still love him...
i still treasure him...
more and more...
i want to repay him...
do my utmost for him...
and i gotta do it fast..
he smsed me this morning...
i feel bad...
for not accompanying him..
to the doctors...
and everything else...
last nite...
he asked me to help him...
i agreed...
but yet...
i still slept so late..
and woke up so late...
to not be able...
to accompany him...
dota...
its just dota...
its causing me...
hardships...
loss...
depression...
lack of time...
failures...
bad results...
ah...
its evil...
after that...
i still played dota...
when my dad came back...
just before some treatment...
and i didnt really care...
wtf is wrong with me...
i need to change...
and i need it now...
(sidetrack)
my grandmother...
is sleeping...
on the couch...
while the tv...
is blasting on...
wat the fuck is her problem...
waste electricity...
then my mother comes and blames me...
dam good lar...
(back on track)
my dad says...
hes gonna be hospitalised...
guess i will be so depressed...
that i feel like dying...
arggh...
im gonna find him now...
- I contemplated at 2:25 pm
