Monday, January 30, 2006
woke up today with a heavy head...
the running nose was still there..
apparently it had not subsided...
guess these days im damn moody ba...
and i guess..
i shldnt talk to anyone already..
coz i keep hurting feelings..
and i keep getting hurt...
i really didnt expect "asshole" from her...
haiz...
it really broke my heart..
and to think... haiz...
she didnt want to meet me...
damn sad lar...
my knuckles have been abused...
maybe i shld just chop off my hand and throw it away..
then...
haiz...
after that...
it soon got better..
and we hugged...
comboed..
and then...
when i came back..
another quarrel started...
i really dunno if i shld talk to anyone anymore..
or whether i shld even go tmr...
i just feel like cooping myself up..
crying my heart out...
abusing myself..
perhaps i shall train my headstands..
from 45 seconds..
i shld train to 2 mins..
that would be good...
and perhaps..
i would lose more brain cells...
and stm ba...
now i hurt her again...
i dunno..
if its really my fault..
i shld change for the better..
i guess..
i wont joke around anymore..
i shld be more serious..
the thing is that..
i don really noe...
when u r joking..
and when u r not..
so..
i tend to take everything seriously..
and haiz..
its all my fault...
i plan for the outing..
i plan to make u happy..
during these 3 days..
then..
haiz..
nvm lar..
forget it..
if u r hurt..
let me heal it..
but..
i don think..
i can do it today...
since im the caus of the hurt..
ill just hurt u more..
so ..
i dunno wat to do now..
all i noe..
its time to abuse myself...
- I contemplated at 7:44 pm
