Wednesday, April 26, 2006
ben ar ben.
i finally noe how you feel le.
i finally noe how it feels.
to be neglected.
to be low in their priorities.
to feel unwanted.
now i know why she treated me this way.
studies first huh.
when i put her above my studies.
ponning classes for her.
doin things for her.
she doesnt see it.
i put her first in my life.
(everything is say here is besides God)
but i finally noe.
where she ranked me in her life.
sleep was more important.
more important than me.
i cried like shit last nite.
i felt ben's pain.
he felt mine.
but i managed to pull through.
suicidal thoughts came into my mind.
but soon went away.
thanks to ben.
i just had to let go.
i dont deserve to be called her boyfriend.
if she prioritised me that low in her life.
it hurt me real bad.
to think i gave up so many things for her.
but she didnt.
i changed so many things for her.
but she never.
i asked her to.
but she said she'd only try.
everytime we quarrel.
its always my fault.
when sometimes its actually hers.
i tahan it.
cause i wanted her so much.
but when i learnt abt this.
i just broke.
i couldnt believe it.
thats y she didnt try her best to meet me.
thats y she scolded me when i asked her to try.
she didnt want to do things for me.
didnt even try her best.
she even scolded me cause i never picked up her call.
cause i was having bible study.
everyone things shes (something) too.
but i said nvm lar.
i just hope she will change.
but i noe why shes like that now.
and i don want to carry on.
ben said salvaging the relationship would be useless too.
i guess.
leaving her would be the best choice.
its so hard to let go.
shes even running away from problems.
giving excuses.
to make sure its not her fault.
but haiz.
wat to do.
now i noe the truth.
the truth hurts.
and that shall be the answer to her post's question.
-endz
- I contemplated at 9:19 am
