Monday, December 24, 2007
its 4 hours to christmas
and i just woke up from my nap
this shall be the worst christmas i ever had
i feel so down
so depressed
christmas aint appealing to me anymore
it just aint right in my life
my life just aint right
its boring
christmas is plain boring
i have never smiled a proper one today
is it just me
its just like a normal day
the festive season comes
and it goes past
i watch it from behind
behind a glass wall
not being able to feel
feel anything at all
this barrier
this distance
and yet another day goes past
in this cage of mine
where nothing comes
and nothing goes
no one is around
only me
just me
i just feel like dying
erased from reality
erased from people's memories
disappeared forever
with no traces whatsoever
should i die
who would remember
who would bother
would anyone noe
wasting myself time and again
aint gonna help
trying to kill myself with cigarettes
makes me suffer more
i cough
my throat swells
blood pours
a slow death
torture
torture
torture
i know a girl
she puts the colour inside of my world
but shes just like a maze
where all of the walls all continually change
and ive done all i can
to stand on her steps with my heart in my hand
now im starting to see
maybe its got nothing to do with me
- I contemplated at 7:38 pm
